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The video treats the entire subject in a rather ridiculous manner, raising two questions: How does this gadget actually work? Today, there are in fact several companies selling automatic sperm collectors on the internet (here, here, and here, for example). A little lower is a “semen-collection sheath,” which purportedly simulates the feel and movement of a vagina.],” which consists of two inflatable tire-like structures.

Your average sperm-collecting gadget consists of a kiosk with a monitor that provides stimulating visuals (! Once enveloping a penis, the sheath continues vibrating until the man, er… The robotic sperm collector apparently has a “high success rate of 95%.” (I’ll leave it at that.) And it’s touted as “safe” because the man actually deposits his donation into a condom-like pocket, which a sperm-bank worker can then collect.

Using a condom will certainly decrease the likelihood of catching STDs, but still, you have to question whether sticking your member into a machine used by countless other men is really that sanitary. When you buy the automatic sperm-collecting machine, it also comes with a surprise bonus feature: a “premature ejaculation desensitization training function.” Men apparently undertake a training regimen in which the gadget repeatedly rubs various parts of the penis in order to decrease its nerve sensitivity.

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